In the thirteenth piece to our Zombie Apocalypse segment, where we are asking band members what they would do if a zombie outbreak happened, we have ENABLER vocalist/guitarist Jeff Lohrber.
You just played a gig far from home and take a step outside the venue for some fresh air and see a hoard of zombies running down the street towards you, what do you do?
Grab Amanda and get the fuck out of there!
You manage to tell your bandmates and people backstage but you notice a ruckus coming from the front of the venue, you can only grab what’s around you for a weapon, what is it?
A bass guitar and cymbals. I figure I could throw cymbals like a Frisbee and possibly behead 4-5 of the undead, and a bass is the longest most effective instrument for swinging at people.
As you’re trying to leave the venue, you notice a band member has been attacked by a zombie, do you turn your back and take off or fight the undead and save your friend?
Depends on which band member it is, and if he/she has been bitten yet. If they had been bitten, then they are better off dead. If Amanda was defending herself, I’d save her. The other guys are dead to me anyways.
You’re about to drive away when a car collides into the trailer, zombies are all over the place, do you get out to detach the trailer or force someone else to?
I’d tell the guy in the band who “needed” the trailer to get out and take one for the team.
While on the road, what is the band listening to?
Neurosis, Imperial State Electric, Tragedy, Masshysteri, His Hero is Gone, Megadeth, AC/DC, Dead Kennedys, Nausea, Voivod, etc.
Along the way you pass a store, it seems safe, what does the band load up on?
Little Debbie pies that just happen to be vegan, Red Bull, canned spinach, etc. You gotta make sure you eat pre-packaged food in this situation, and eating meat isn’t much different from being a zombie.
You notice that there’s a kitten in the store, do you take it with you or leave it to be an appetizer for the zombies? If you rescue the kitty, what do you name it?
Rescue the cat of course. If it’s a girl name it Leia, if it’s a boy name it Luke.
After hiding out for a while, you circle back to the venue. Upon entering you find your tourmates as zombies feasting on fans. What do you do?
Get the fuck out of there. Good thing that we don’t have that many fans! haha
You return backstage to grab your precious gear, but a zombie has it. Forget about it or fight the thing off and claim your possessions?
No one tries to steal my Les Paul or JCM800. That fucker is dead.
In the midst of everything going on you notice you are turning into a zombie. You gather with the other zombie musicians to form a new undead band. What do you call the band?
Graveyard Classics 4.
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